How to Talk with Children About News Events
In addition to the stressors of back to school, such as new friends, a different schedule, and homework, many have been trying to navigate their children hearing about large and often frightening news stories from the internet or from peers. It is increasingly difficult to manage what media children have access to, in addition to what they are being told by peers at school. This can lead to more anxiety of what is happening, as well as misunderstandings for what has actually happened. Information is more available than it ever was before, and children want to know what is happening. Here are some suggestions for how to talk about and approach some of these challenging events with your children.
Be Informed. Before you talk with your child about current events, it is helpful to get a basic understanding of what has occurred. This does not mean that you have to conduct research, but find a few well-trusted sources to be able to speak to and answer questions about what has occurred as best as possible. Of course, some news may be developing, and you may not have all the answers. Being honest about that can model that we do not always know everything all the time. However, it is helpful to have basic facts that you can share with your child in an appropriate way. If it happens where your child tells you about an event that you had not heard of, it’s an opportunity to show how you would go about finding more information.
Ask Your Child What They Know. Before you tell your child the facts, ask them what it is that they know or have been told about an event. This offers you the opportunity to correct any inaccuracies about their understanding, and potentially offers you the ability to share with your child how they can go about finding accurate information if appropriate. This also allows you to hear how they felt about the news, and can be a time to connect on their feelings regarding intense news. Whether the information they have is accurate or not, it can increase connection if you are able to hear how they felt about hearing information from others, validate their feelings about it, and help them regulate in the face of difficult or frightening news.
Share What is Appropriate. What is appropriate to share with a child depends on the type of news, as well as their age, and their ability to understand what has occurred. This might also depend on your values as a family and what you feel like children should know. Of course, I think we all would hope children would not have to learn about tragic events before they have to, but with social media, children are learning and sharing more information than ever before, and it may help to hear factual information from a trusted adult who can help them regulate their emotions as they hear the news. Often children just want to be reassured that they will be safe and taken care of. While we can not make guarantees, it can be an opportunity to review any safety plans regarding natural disasters or other plans in place for different scenarios, and a reminder that you are doing what you can to keep them safe. Reminding children of their community – friends, extended family members, and other trusted adults, can also be helpful in providing support during challenging times.
Monitor Media. While I think this one always bears repeating, I understand that it is difficult to keep your finger on the pulse of what social media is most popular, how information is being shared, and to what audience. This is an ever-evolving and challenging task, but I strongly recommend keeping an eye on what apps your child is engaging with, what their algorithm is telling them, and even watching with them when possible to help them recognize what media is appropriate for them. This is an opportunity to help them understand internet safety and what is age appropriate for them.
These are difficult times we are living in, and it is normal to also have our feelings about things that are going on. While it is important to not overwhelm children with our own feelings about events, sharing some of the ones you share with your child that you are comfortable sharing can normalize for them that it is okay to have strong feelings and reactions to a lot of current events. It is an opportunity to come together as a family and find support.